A secret society that I wish to join.

These guys look like my kind of people.

Police in Paris have discovered a fully equipped cinema-cum-restaurant in a large and previously uncharted cavern underneath the capital's chic 16th arrondissement.

... the tunnel opened into a vast 400 sq metre cave some 18m underground, "like an underground amphitheatre, with terraces cut into the rock and chairs".

There the police found a full-sized cinema screen, projection equipment, and tapes of a wide variety of films, including 1950s film noir classics and more recent thrillers. None of the films were banned or even offensive, the spokesman said.

A smaller cave next door had been turned into an informal restaurant and bar. "There were bottles of whisky and other spirits behind a bar, tables and chairs, a pressure-cooker for making couscous," the spokesman said.

OK, admittedly, I know virtually nothing about these guys. They're probably French, they might be maniacs, and I don't much like Paris. But, then again, looks like they don't, either: if Paris were so great, they'd stay above ground and enjoy it. I like darkness, I like caves, I love the cinema, I love restaurants. So, if any of you wonderfully creative troglodytes are reading this, well, I'd love an invite. Discretion guaranteed.

This is an interesting detail, I think:

Three days later, when the police returned accompanied by experts from the French electricity board to see where the power was coming from, the phone and electricity lines had been cut and a note was lying in the middle of the floor: "Do not," it said, "try to find us."

Then:

[A group,] identifying itself as the Perforating Mexicans, last night told French radio the subterranean cinema was its work.

Those two bits of behaviour just don't tally, do they? "Don't try to find us," and "Here we are! It's us!" I don't think the Perforating Mexicans have anything to do with this cinema. Cool name, though.