So...
q=i
n=t
d=h
k=v
x=g
o=c
y=p
f=n
v=y
r=f
z=d
With those substitutions made, we get this:
th__v_gdp_h__fh_n,__f__png_pn__f_f_v_gp__.
_dp_hf___hpny_h_h__t____cn__h_n_t,
f__gc_fpn__fn_cp_hv_g__n_p__pf_ypg_hig_
hnpf__n___,_fp_hf-___h_npnh;nd____tdpn_n__,
p_pch._d_yhv_gp__hf__vh_ndh__g_fhvp
_cg_dp__dp_hpf_ndpf_v_g___y_pv_f_!
... which is clearly bollocks. Even allowing for spaces, there's never going to be a place for "hpny" or "fhvp". So, try substituting the other way around, and we get this instead:
fz___x__v_z_x_zqr,_x___vr__vrqx_n_x_x_v__.
q_v_z_x__zvrkqz_zx_fqn_x_rxdznrxf,
_x___q_vrqx_rx_v_z_x_nqrdv__v__kv_nz_
_qzrv__nrq__,q_voz_-_q_znrvrz;r_qnqnf_vrqrqn,
v_v_z.q_xkz_x_v__z__x_z_r_z_x___z_vn___
_vnq_v_zv__r_v___x__x_k_v_q__!
... which is even wronger. "rxdznrxf"? Please.
I'm left with three possibilities: either this code is not a straight-forward letter substitution; or it is, but the clues are cunningly misleading or jumbled in some way; or I haven't drunk enough Diet Coke yet today and my brain's not functioning.
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