I run Windows Update and Internet Explorer opens up and tells me it can't view the page because it doesn't have the right software. OK, so it's the first time this PC has ever accessed the Windows Update site, so I wouldn't expect it to have the software yet. Fair enough. And the page is showing me a handy user-friendly install button, so that's fair enough, too. Nothing complicated or unreasonable here. So I install the software — only takes a few seconds — the page refreshes, and I get this:
Get the latest Windows Update software.
We've made improvements to our website. To download the new version of the software and begin using Windows Update, please click Install Now.
What the fuck? I just installed it twenty seconds ago, and you're telling me it wasn't the latest version? Why the hell not?
So I install the latest version. It takes a couple of minutes. And, finally:
Welcome to Windows Update
Aha! It's working. Now I have a couple of little install buttons to click. One of which I do.
Checking for the latest updates for your computer...
To use this latest version of Windows Update, you will need to upgrade some of its components.
Oh, you utter plonkers.