My wife was rudely awoken at 4am this morning as, stark bollock naked, I wrenched a very large and very heavy mirror from the wall. She asked what I was doing and I apparently answered, in a very pissed-off manner, "I'm taking this off the wall". Mirror removed and two large holes in the plasterwork later, I announced with some satisfaction, "I've taken it off the wall". At which point I went back to bed.
I've no recollection of this, because I was fast asleep at the time.
Which has prompted this story from a Mr SolidPig about an acquaintance of his:
His wife awoke one night to find him pissing in the corner of their bedroom on the new carpet. When she screamed at him to clean his mess up he dissapeared to the cupboard, returning with a stanley knife in hand. He then proceeded to cut out the wet section of carpet and thoughtfully took it into the bathroom to run it under the shower.
I sleep like a log, myself. Getting me to move a muscle when I'm asleep, let alone wake up, is so difficult it should be some sort of proverb. However, Monty barks in his sleep, and, since he sleeps next to our bed, that tends to do the trick.