Wednesday 5 July 2006

I don't like coffee.

It is a truly foul concoction. So I find it hard to believe that this tastes any worse than the usual stuff. I mean, it couldn't, could it?

Weasel coffee has been eaten and regurgitated by rare Vietnamese weasels! Honestly! As you can imagine, the weasels' gastric goings-on radically alter the taste of the coffee and the result is a stronger, smoother, heady flavoured coffee that will appeal to serious connoisseurs of the mighty bean. Once 'evacuated' by the bean-loving fur balls, the coffee is collected by eagle-eyed villagers, who then market the stuff directly to the manufacturers.

That's an interesting job. Collecting weasel vomit. I wish that were on my CV.

This stuff is arguably even more "interesting":

Only about 50 kilos of this blend is collected per year, making it the ultimate in exclusivity and rarity. And when we tell you where the beans have, er, been, you'll understand why. You see the primary reason for Civet Coffee's distinctive taste is that it's been partially fermented by passing through the digestive system of a Sumatran Civet Cat. No, really!

Basically this feral feline prowls Sumatran coffee plantations at night, choosing to eat only the finest, ripest cherries. The stones (which eventually form coffee beans) are then collected by sifting through the Civet's number twos.


Native Sumatrans consider this to be the finest coffee in the world

On the other hand, maybe they consider telling foreigners that they consider it to be the finest coffee in the world to be the finest joke in the world. I am reminded of the T-shirt with Chinese characters on it that translated as "Look at this stupid white guy."

You know, when you consider that a bag of weasel puke is a whole seven quid cheaper than a bag of civet shit, you realise just how much of a bargain it really is.

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