A new hoover.

The old one broke, so we just got a Dirt Devil DD2404. Yeah, exciting stuff. Actually, it's a masterpiece of minitiarisation and very easy to empty, so that's nice. But not why I'm blogging.

No, it's the marvellous instructions. For once, remarkably light on the stupid safety advice — do not use the vacuum cleaner to fend off sharks at the bottom of the ocean while stabbing yourself in the eye, that sort of thing. And the instructions, while a bit obvious (it's a hoover — what can they tell us that we haven't guessed?), do appear to have been written by someone who speaks English. No, Dirt Devil seem to be working on a whole new approach: while most electrical manufacturers provide instruction manuals dictated by paranoid lunatics in Esperanto over bad phonelines, they're going for understated minimalist subtlety:

Finally, replace the cover — replacement is the opposite of removal.

Genius.