Forget the politics. It's the bloody awful music that's the real problem. And the Catholics are no better with their interminable fiddle-dee-deeing, though they're considerate enough not to play it while marching past your house for three hours.
Right past my front door is where the marchers go, so, unlike most people in the Province, I'm taking the opportunity to go to work today. I must be one of the few people ever to go into the centre of Belfast on the Twelfth to get away from the noise and disruption.
Why can't the Northern Irish have a strong tradition of samba?