Meet the Bible Bar — one of the greatest new products ever introduced to the Christian market. This fantastic-tasting, all natural whole food bar contains the seven foods which the Lord calls good in Deuteronomy 8:8 — Wheat, Barley, Honey, Figs, Olive Oil, Grapes, and Pomegranates. You’re going to love this first-of-its-kind nutritional bar with its refreshing, natural fruit flavor and Biblical significance.
Now, I don't always see eye-to-eye with Christianity — sure, it has all too often led to bigotry and violence and hatred and death and destruction and so on — but just look at those ingredients! I may not have tasted them yet, but I'm willing to bet that these bars taste seriously yum. By the looks of it, Deuteronomy 8:8 is one of The Bible's more sensible passages. I mean, grapes? Yum. Honey? Yum. Barley? Yum. Pomegranates? Yum.
I do hope we heathens are allowed to eat them. And I hope that the manufacturers realise that they have the ingredients of a damn fine refreshing yet highly alcoholic drink right there, just waiting to be made.
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