It is a confusin an frightenin time to be America. Because a 9/11 an these Times Of Change. "Oh no!" says America. "I'm so confused who do I voooote for!" You need steady leadership in times a change America. The steady leadership of a big ol dog.
Some other candidates say they are steady but are they really? Or are they just suspiciously french an ketchupy? "Sacre bleu, vive le France," say some other candidates. "Ceci n'est pas une pipe." Well always know where a big ol dog stands on hard issues like terror!" "HRARRGL HRAARRGL GRRRAAARRRGL," says a big ol dog bitin an spittin an growlin at terror. The dog is also tough on other dogs, postal workers, small children, plants an stuff that looks like plants.
He's got a point.