So here I am on a bus, heading south from Belfast to Dublin Airport. Only just made it, due to oversleeping, due to staying up packing till about three-thirty. Anyway, it's one of them new buses with seatbelts, so, not being keen on entrusting bus-drivers with my life to any greater extent than absolutely necessary, I used mine. I have now observed that the seatbelt's release mechanism is broken, to the extent of not working. I have an hour or so to quietly figure out how to release myself from this seat's clutches without looking like an utter pillock. Failing that, I shall need to cry for help.
I could ask the couple across the aisle if they have an axe I could borrow.