Tuesday, August 31

Date cute heathen guys.

I am eternally grateful to Crime & Federalism for showing me the way to Date To Save, a women's guide to the art of missionary dating, which isn't what one might hope.

Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I'm a Christian who loves Jesus and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don't know is that I'm hot. ... I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage my sisters in Christ to do the same ...

Not only can we date cute guys, but hopefully we can lead them to God and save them from the burning fires of Hell.


Sounds like a win-win situation to me: go out with a beautiful woman and avoid an eternity of torture at the hands of demons. Oh, except that you'd have to listen to her.

Jesus told us to reach the "outermost parts of the world." I mean, I'm not going to fly to Kenya and date some guy who eats worms, but I think for me, "outermost parts of the world" means all the hot guys that live around me here in Fremont, California. But, God told me not to be a polygamist, so the goal would be to dump your boyfriend before witnessing to your next one.

 

3 comments:

Gary said...

It's a bit reminiscent of the early version of the (fake) landover baptist site, isn't it?

Squander Two said...

I think it's considerably better. Landover Baptist never really did it for me.

It does inexplicably remind me of Coincidence Design, though. Can't think why. (Damn. I've just realised that "Can't think why" is now one of those phrases that it is impossible to utter without implying irony. In this case, then, I need to stress that I really can't think why. Really.)

Gary said...

Yeah, I see what you mean. On the coincidence design thing, not the can't imagine why thing :-)